Writing for National Publication
January 9, 2009
Beautiful Life is pleased to announce that the following article will be featured in the March-April issue of the national publication, Home Health Aide Digest. Check back for a link to the publication!
Communication Through History
Wade was a pilot, but now he lives in a care facility. His memory is fading and his words are slipping away, but he is bright and happy when a caregiver or visitor will come with him to look at the pictures on his wall. Then his words come faster and he remembers who he is, a father and former pilot. This is when he feels proud and calm.
Talking with Someone Who Has Memory Loss
Like Wade, many people with memory loss or cognitive impairment may need or want to think about the past, tell an old story, or talk about their families, but they may lack the words or may not remember enough to carry on a conversation.
Here is how you can help:
-Pay attention to the time in your client’s life that he or she finds most pleasant to talk about and easy to remember. It is common for someone with memory loss to remember the most from their early adulthood. When you want to visit, start there.
- Doing something together like looking at old photographs or special belongings, or listening to an old song can be a great way to start a conversation. Memories can be sparked by sights, sounds, smells and touch.
-If you want to ask questions, think of questions that don’t highlight memory loss such as, “What do you think of…?” or “Isn’t this a great picture?” or “How do you feel when you hear this…” These types of questions will not sound like a test.
-Sometimes making a statement, then being quiet will get your client talking. Try, “You look so happy in this picture…” or, “I wonder what it was like to live through the depression…” Perhaps you will spark a thought or a memory, but you have avoided putting someone on the spot.
-Avoid sarcasm, jokes that require context to be understood, or long and complicated descriptions.
-Turn off the radio and television while you visit. For someone with memory loss, distractions can make remembering and speaking more difficult.
-Using a story or experience from your life to keep a conversation going can be good – keep it short, simple and pleasant. Then be quiet!
Using History During Care
-Talking about a happy memory can be a distraction from an unpleasant feeling or experience. For example, if your client hates baths, that may be a good time to talk about a happy memory. Or, if your client is upset about the mail not arriving yet, perhaps it is time to talk about the relative who sent the letter that arrived yesterday.
-Someone with memory loss may find the world to be upsetting and foreign at times. Remembering just one thing that is familiar may be a comfort.
Tricky Spots
Everyone has unhappy memories. Memory loss can make coping with an unhappy experience or memory even more difficult.
Tips for the tricky spots:
-Never promise something you cannot do.
-Watch for agitation and avoid upsetting topics.
-Notify a supervisor if an upsetting topic comes up and your client cannot be calmed.
Uses of Memory Book:
Beatrice remembers life from 1930, but she cannot remember yesterday. She worries about whether the mail has come, whether or not her son has called her yet today or why her car is not in the garage. She talks more and more about these worries. Her neighbors and grandchildren visit less often because they don’t know what to do when Beatrice is upset about these things. Beatrice is not easily reassured or redirected.
A memory book is created for Beatrice. When she is worried, caregivers or her children answer her question or reassure her, then pull out her book and begin to read and review it with her. Soon she is smiling and telling a favorite story.
Memory books are very useful. A family member and the subject of the book can look at them to help start conversations. They can be used by a paid caregiver to get to know their client or to help them feel better when they are upset, lonely or sad.
A family member or caregiver can help someone with memory loss create a memory book in the form of a scrap book. Or, a professional businesses such as Beautiful Life out of Glencoe, Minnesota, create these books.
Beautiful Life works with families to create books that include stories, photos, objects, and compliments from others. Each book is written, designed and published to meet the needs of each subject, including their reading level, vision challenges and/or stage of memory loss or cognitive impairment. Some of the questions Beautiful Life asks to create the books are:
-What makes him happiest?
-What does he liked to talk about most?
-What was she most proud of?
-Who was she closest to?
-What is he known for (accomplishments, strengths and talents)
-What are topics that upset him? (these are left out)
Working with a client who has memory loss or other types of cognitive impairment can be challenging, but using materials such as photographs or memory books can enhance conversations and serve as a bridge to the past.
Biography
Kiessa Webster is a Licensed Social Worker in Minnesota. She has a lifetime of professional and volunteer work with the elderly and individuals with disabilities in nursing homes, assisted living facilities, hospice programs and home care organizations.
Kiessa’s favorite book about communicating with those with memory loss is “Talking to Alzheimer’s: Simple Ways to Connect When You Visit with a Family Member or Friend” by Claudia J. Strauss. This simple and short book has many helpful suggestions.
Beautiful Life is a company that is owned and operated by Kiessa Webster with the goal of making personalized books that bring people together and help them remember the past. Kiessa can work with families of those with memory loss anywhere in the country to create helpful books that inspire pride, memory and connection.