Non-traditional Gifts
April 11, 2009
As parents of young children, or healthy adults in mid-life, many of us may not consider tasks typically associated with end-of-life planning. We may feel confident that we will remain relatively untouched by the uncertainty and brevity of life. In reality no-one is immune to life’s uncertainties. It isn’t pleasant to think about our own mortality, but the truth is that planning for this inevitable aspect of our life can be a huge gift to our loved ones. Recording the following thoughts is a great start:
1. Parental Pride. Children need affirmation and approval from their parents. Written statements in your handwriting, or a home-made video, will be cherished if you are not there in person to offer these things (and sometimes even if you are!) What are your proudest moments as a parent? What do you like best about your child?
2. Your Wishes. Does your family know who you would want to help care for your children if you and your spouse were no longer able? How you feel about life support? If, or where, would you want to be buried? To whom you would bequeath special family heirlooms? Answering these questions now saves your family from guesswork and potential conflict at a time when they need it the least. Give the gift of assurance that your wishes are being followed.
3. Finished Work. Is there someone you’ve forgiven, but you haven’t told him or her yet? Is there something important you’ve been waiting to say, or someone who may not know how important he or she has been to you? Record it! Imagine receiving such a message.
4. Obituary. Writing obituaries can be very difficult for grieving families. Write your own now! What are the highlights of your life?
5. Letters. To a spouse, parents, grandparents, friends - Are there words of advice or encouragement to leave for all time? My big one is that I want my husband to know that I approve of remarriage. Why leave him to feel guilty or uncertain about it if something happened to me?
Whatever your message, your thoughts, or your wishes, record them, I urge you! Someday, someone will be grateful for it!